Facilitate a meeting, address a group, hold a speech ... This is for some of a real test of strength. To speak in public is, in fact, to expose oneself, to face one's timidity, one's fears, the eyes of others, to assert oneself. Frédéric Fanget is a psychiatrist, a specialist in assertiveness. He is also the author of Affirm! . He gives us his advice to overcome our apprehensions and become a successful speaker.
Psychologies: How can you overcome your fear and jitters when it comes to speaking out?
Frédéric Fanget: By not trying to hide them. Better to talk about his shyness, his apprehension to express himself before others. Without making it the main theme of his intervention, it is better to stress right away his weak point. This prevents the shy person from devoting all his energy to seeking to hide his disability, and not focus on what he or she wants or needs to express.
But it is not necessarily easy to fight his freak when we are talking to several people?
Frédéric Fanget: It's not easy, of course, but when you have to speak in front of a group, for example at a business meeting, you must not try to seduce the whole audience. audience. The shy person usually looks for everyone's approval and it's an impossible quest. There will always be one to be skeptical or disagree. Unfortunately, an unsure speaker will focus on this one reaction, rather than relying on the encouragement of others. Because the shy ones are very often great perfectionists. But we must give ourselves the right to make mistakes. To highlight the points of his speech where we feel that we are fishing. To better highlight those on which we feel stronger.
How can one calm one's anxiety once one has finished speaking and waiting for reactions?
Frédéric Fanget: In a performance of speaking, especially in a professional setting, we show to see what we do and not what we are. In other words, it means: "You can criticize what I do but not what I am." Behavior is not personality, especially in the office. One can receive criticism about one's work, but not value judgments about oneself. But not to be disturbed, you must also learn to receive criticism. By not counter-attacking on the spot, listening and differentiating between constructive criticism and hurtful, or hurtful remarks.Learn to forget about these to focus on constructive criticism that will allow you to progress.